Many times in the Family First Entrepreneurial world, because family plays an all-encompassing role, things can become very sticky as we strive for a work/life balance.  The stickiness shows up for me many times as I consider my responsibilities, as I see them, to my family.  The whole responsibility thing puts me in a place where, if I’m not careful, I feel ownership for outcomes, and then I feel responsible for how things turn out, even though it is logical and provable that this is not true.  An example of this is that good parents can raise bad kids, a devastating thought for any committed parent.

Recently, I had someone help me pull this concept apart, and as we discussed it, we condensed it into a simple statement: Responsibility is the ability to respond. And it stops there.  When I heard this, I had an, “Oh, I see” moment that allowed me a whole lot more space if things didn’t turn out.   By breaking this really heavy concept down into its respective parts and by determining what parts are mine, I can be more responsive to the things I can control and learn from them.

This way of looking at things is helpful in the area of one of my key responsibilities which is to provide income for my family.  When the results of my endeavors show up, I can then look at how I responded to particular situations and evaluate those responses by themselves.  In business it is completely possible to do everything right and still have a venture go south.

I take my role as the provider for my family, as do most fathers, very seriously and when things are tough, it is hard not to feel shameful. It’s when you see your family making tough choices because of your leadership that the weight can be overwhelming.  If you cast away that feeling quickly and reinvest your energy in the solution, many times the problems can be solved just as quickly.  The key is to not get mired down in the responsibility of outcomes as they relate to your role in the family.

The reason I wrote this is because I get stuck in the goo of responsibility myself, and I’m sure that I am not the only one.