Recently I have been working very hard on my relationship with my wife.  I made a decision several weeks ago to come to her in our interactions from the perspective that she is my loving partner rather than my adversary.  I’m happy to report that I have noticed a big change in many ways in our relationship, as a result, and they are all positive.

I must come clean and say that one of my character flaws is that I believe I KNOW the way.  I struggle with allowing family decisions to be shared.  As a result I often see, and have gotten used to, looking at my wife as the woman I have to negotiate with to get my way.  This has stymied intimacy and created rebellion and distrust in our relationship.

I know I’m not the only one who can identify with this, so I’ll tell you how I changed.  I simply remind myself, as I approach Sue throughout the day, that she is my loving partner in life, not my adversary.  It’s become easy to notice when I don’t come from that place because it’s such a different operating platform.  I feel aggressive, easily angered, and I don’t listen.   When I approach her knowing she is my loving partner, I’m gentle, empathetic, and I hear her.  I have committed myself to maintaining this shift in perspective.

Another fun part of this has been that some of my common complaints of Sue have changed naturally as I have assumed this new stance.  The escalation that used to accompany a conflict of opinion has decreased, our loving moments have increased and there is less tension in our home.

I believe relationships take on a theme that we become used to.  Many times that theme can heavily undermine the quality of our relationships.  I noticed a negative impact that one of my character flaws was having on my relationship with my wife and I made an adjustment.  I encourage you to do the same if your marriage theme is not serving you.

An Additional Note: Bad family relationships affect business and bad business practices affect marriages.  The book ONO and the Family First Entrepreneurial on-line movement are here to help you manage the two so that they enhance one another.  God Bless.