When I sit down at the table to cut a deal of almost any kind, I prefer to have a discussion as opposed to a negotiation.  They are very similar types of situations with similar outcomes, but a discussion feels a whole lot better to me.  When you’re negotiating, the person across the table becomes your adversary, and there are many people I know that love it that way.   On the other hand, I would rather pull back and allow a relationship to develop so a discussion is possible.

I know negotiating can’t always be avoided, but many times it can.  The difference between the two is that in a discussion you have two people interested in making things right for one another—no winner-loser deals, just two people seeing how their paths can cross and how much they are willing to put forward or to give up.

In a negotiation, particularly a financial one, the winner-loser factor can become personal very quickly.  It’s easy to offend one another, and without discussion it is difficult to make sure that’s not happening.  Many times you will have future business dealings with this same person and you don’t want those kinds of negative feelings floating around.

If you align yourself with the Family First Entrepreneurial mindset, you are the kind of person who wants to make sure that it is not only your family which is being taken care of, but someone else’s as well.  Having a discussion as opposed to a negotiation is the way to accomplish this.

I let people know right away when I sit down with them that I am interested in a discussion, and I explain the way I look at it.  It’s very disarming, and it works very well most of the time.  I just have to be aware of people who are not interested in participating and can’t get out of the negotiating mode, and I have to deal with them accordingly.

Business is so much more fun and fulfilling when it’s not dog-eat-dog, but I’m a realist and know that with some folks, it’s the only way they know.  I won’t walk into a car dealership and expect to get a great deal without putting on my big boy pants, but discussions are possible in most interactions.  I have found that people are a little wary at first, but once they get to know me, they yearn to do business on this kind of level.  It’s the way most of us wish we could do business.  It only takes two, and there are lots us out there.  Seek them out.  I encourage you to try it.

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