I find it interesting how society has changed in relationship to dads and their role when they get home.  Many of our fathers’ duties happened 9 to 5 and when they stepped through the door to home it was shut-down time for them with the TV, a news paper, etc.  Today, and I’m glad for this, dads are expected to clock back in for the family and remain active. It’s always been expected of moms, I agree, but why not us as well?

I’m a father who “clocks in” to the duty of family, but I also realize I have a need for a release, a need for down time or “me time,” as I like to call it.  Mine comes after the kids are asleep.

Jaken, my oldest son used to have a late bedtime, and my wife and I quickly wore out because we had no time for ourselves. Now, not only does he go to be earlier, but Sue and I are both becoming more aware of our need for time with each other (date nights), and time for each of us to spend with our friends as well.  She needs regular time with the ladies, and I with the guys.

I’m amazed it has taken us so long to allow this time to be a more regular occurrence in our lives, but it has.  I think it’s because when many of us have our first child we just get used to putting our needs aside.  As a parent I fight, with all that I am, to be the best father I can be and, in order to do that, I have realized that I have to take care of myself.  Sue and I have committed to one another to support the idea that we need time with each other and time with our friends.

Make that commitment with your spouse if you haven’t already.  Keep it balanced and fair so no resentment shows up.  Do date nights or whole days, with occasional overnight getaways or trips.  Your kids need to see that you take care of yourselves and that you are in love.  I find it interesting in that in the duty to one’s children you must acknowledge the duty to yourself, but it’s true. There is work in the planning, but it is well worth it.